New Year 2009

I can't believe it's that time again. I don't usually make resolutions. I never stick to them anyway and I don't like to disappoint myself to any degree but, this year I may have to make one or two so what kind of a resolution would work for me?

I'm not wealthy by any means and don't have enough of an income to start any kind of savings or investments so, curbing how I spend my money isn't a resolution I'll be putting on the list.

I'm not in bad shape either. I don't eat right or exercise properly but I'm blessed with a fast metabolism however, there are some soft spots starting so maybe getting into walking for about 30 minutes a day wouldn't be too bad. I can't consider that a resolution though because I should be doing that for myself anyway.

I don't smoke cigarettes and I'm not a heavy drinker. I'm not a compulsive shopper either. I'm pretty conservative when it comes to major purchases for myself but with my meager income I do manage to keep myself and my daughter happy in ensuring that we want for nothing so no quitting any of the above.

With that, I was thinking about my attitude. The one thing I have complete control over. The one thing that always manages to decide what kind of a day I'm going to have and determine how others respond to me. I've heard the saying 'every day is a good day, some are just better than others', but it's easier to say than to see. I can be positive and I can be happy, and by just believing that, this resolution could actually be do-able. The hardest part is going to be figuring out whether I've been living to make myself happy or if I'm living my life for the happiness of others?

So, I could have resolution #1; live to make myself happy, not within the happiness of others, and learn to know the difference.

Another personality quirk I'd like to work on is my reliability. I consider myself reliably unreliable which I can't say it's worked for me. Mainly because of the way it affects my friendships. I've gotten better at times but I'm still a lazy but spontaneous person who changes her mind at the drop of a better offer. I never answer my phone or return calls and I'm always the one to say 'let's get together soon' and then flake out.

This could make for resolution #2; do what I say I'm going to do. And that includes answering and returning my calls. One problem to this resolution...I may send my friends and family into a state of confusion when I actually come through. Could also be a real eye opening experience for me as well.

And one last possible resolution...love. I have so much of it around me yet I can't seem to commit myself to it. My philosophy on this one is that maybe I can't love fully because I don't fully love myself. I think this resolution #3 will come together once I nail down resolutions 1 and 2.

Slowing down and looking around could also lead to changing a few of the things within myself. Looking around and smelling the roses isn't an issue for me but I have to learn to not yank the rose off the bush in order to smell it while I'm running full speed past the garden.

Happy New Year to all of you and may your 2009 be incredibly prosperous regardless of the state of the world around you.
Thanks for reading.
~W~